The End Of Something Special…………………..

You know how it goes………. all good things must come to an end, well its happening now.

I find myself writing this entry today because i feel it’s the right thing to do.

I don’t know if people come in and read any of my entries so maybe i am just doing this for myself, who knows.

I’m saying goodbye to my lovely, gorgeous, wonderful, sexy Maxx.

My heart and my soulmate.

We have cried together, laughed together, been there for eachother and more but it’s time for me to let go now.

Time to let Maxx get on and sort things out with the person he is really meant to be with and thats his wife V.

I’m finding it hard to write this because i know breaking all ties with Maxx is going to kill me and i know its going to hurt him too but i hope he understands that i am doing it for him.

I will never stop loving him after all how can you stop loving the one person you have travelled through eternity with.

I pray and hope that everything will work itself out with him and V but i also hope that Maxx will find his happiness again.

Please be happy baby thats all i ask.

Your always going to be in my heart and be part of my soul.

I wont forget you.

Kirsten xx

100 facts about me………………….for maxxy

Well here i am after a request from maxx asking me to do 100 facts about me so he can know me better, not sure if i will reach 100 but i will try just for him.

Here goes and if i’m not back in an hour come find me lol.

1)  I have two brothers and two sisters, i’m the one in the middle, i dont see my brothers that often and i’m really close to my older sis debi.

2) My dad was a complete b’stard who used to waste his money on getting drunk and causing fights with my mum also he used to take things out on us.

3) I didnt get married for love i got married to escape an unhappy home life, then he turned out to be a pig.

4) I met Dave on an internet chat room and i think i corrupted him lol

5) My favourite colours are black and blue

6) My favourite wild animal is a tiger

7) Favourite domestic animal is a cat I didnt lose my Virginity till i was 18

9) i played truant from school once and got caught lol

10) had the cane in school too for chewing gum in class ……………..god what a rebel i used to be

11) My first love was my brother-in-laws brother Michael and everytime i see him i still go week at the knees

12) Most people dont believe me when i tell them i have only had two serious relationships

13) I wanted to be a princess when i was a little girl

14) Me and my sisters used to put singing shows on for my nan when she visited

15) I had a crush on my environmental studies teacher Mr Foster

16) First time i ever went abroad and on an airplane was when i was twenty

17) I cried at the end of Bram stokers Dracula

1 I hate it when people judge you before they get to know you

19) when i get too tired i can be a complete bitch… so ya better run and hide

20) i love all things gothic

21) i have an unhealthy obsession with vampires

22) My sex drive is through the roof

21) I’m a total deviant

22) I fantasise about being overpowered by a master

23) never used to believe in soulmates till i met maxxy

24) I dont believe in god but believe there’s a higher plain

25) i love ironing

26) I crave to be loved and wanted

27) If i won the lottery i woud give my mom a million so she could leave the idiot she’s with now

2 I have had sex on the back of a horse

29) I hate my life

30) I am scared of flying and feel like a fool when i’m on a plane cos i dont let go of the seat lol

31) I love peanut butter and banana sandwiches

32) The one thing thats sure to get me out of a black mood is listening to bon jovi cd’s

33) I think i would make a brilliant mom but its not to be

34) I care far too much about people

35) sometimes i’m pretty gullable

36) i’m starting to kick ass at guitar hero…….lol

37) I cry myslef to sleep

The Dream

I finally crawled into bed last night, late.
With visions of you still in my head.
Anticipation pounding in my heart.
All my senses filled with your existence.
As I escaped into the dream world I know so well,
I took you with me.

We walked down the beach together.
Our hands touching and our hearts bonding through them.
The wind kissing our faces gently.
The sand giving way under our feet.
The warmth in our hearts that only a poet would understand.

Finding an oasis in the never ending edge of the world,
We sit beneath the giant tree, on the patch of thick grass
that seems to have been put there just for us.
We talked for what seems to be hours.
Never running out of things to say,
feelings to share, thoughts to exchange.

I reach out to touch you and you stop my hand with yours.
Our fingers touch. Our hands envelop each other.
Almost as though they were making love to each other.
Our fingers dancing. Our eyes gazing into each others.
A soft and gentle smile exchanged.

Our bodies seemingly without direction move toward each other.
The desire almost unbearable.
The passion burning in our hearts so overwhelming.
We are unable to maintain control of our own destinies.
Our bodies become one.

We make love in such a way that direction from Venus herself must be at hand.
Only paced by the rhythm of our hearts.
Accelerated by the hunger for more.
The cycle seemingly never ending.
Hunger and the attempt to satisfy it.
Our hearts thundering like a storm on the sea of love.
The frenzied yet graceful, almost poetic energy abounds.
We erupt in a flow of passionate waves that humbles the nearby sea.

As we lay secure in each others arms in the shade of the giant tree.
Listening to the song that the wind and surf play just for us.
Feeling love not surpassed by Romeo and Juliet.
We drift into a world in our minds that we share in a way that is unexplainable.
A connection of souls.

I awaken to another day.
Turning to touch you.
You are not there.
It was a dream, and now just a memory.
The feelings still in my heart.
The vividness of the encounter still in my mind.

Emotional Vampire

standing before you,
naked, but unaware,
body trembling with every breath,
I await your approach.

embracing you in ecstasy,
our energies ascend in
a feverish rapture as the
moon illuminates our silhouettes through
lace curtains.

you pull away,
leaving me listless,
writhing in agony on the
floor as my essence seeps through
my skin into you,

my sweet, emotional vampire,

who leaves me in anguish,
tormented until our next encounter when
I will stand before you,
naked,
waiting to be drained again.

Submission

I kneel, supplicant before you
my will
offered up in quiet acquiescence
awaiting your approval
or reproach
the fine line between pleasure and pain
becomes ever sweeter with your control
with every touch, kiss, word
smoldering embers are kindled
tormenting desires awakened
I quiver
captured by heat and hunger
bend me to your will
My Lord
show me what you most desire
my purpose but to serve
through your dominion I find myself
You, the Master of many
my only

For my Master

I see hell’s deadly fire consuming your eyes, running black as night.
Your voice stirs the whispered hunger within me, my desire.
Words cannot describe the things that I yearn for you to bestow onto me.
I want you to pin me to your bed of blood red velvet and split my pale shell of a body wide open.
I want you to make me beg to acquire the permission to speak your name.
I want you to take everything I am and swallow it whole, never give it back, to leave me empty inside.
I want you to throw me agianst the wall and not allow me to ever disobey words spoken from those pale reaper like lips.
If I try to run, hunt me down and punish me with your pleasure consuming torchers
Wrap your arms around me and force me to lie still.
Command me to see everything your way, remove my very will, and keep me forever.
Make me your slave………….
I beg of you, don’t hold back any longer, I cannot bear this knawing, unfullfilled need.
Controll me, rule me, yield me,do with me as you wish.
So long as I can feel your touch set my cold flesh ablaze.
So long as your blood lust consumes me and threatens to enthrall me for the remainder of eternity.
I want your eyes to draw in my body like the blood that pours from your lips.
I hunger……Feed me, Master…..
Bring me to your body so tight that if all those spells where corsets, I would surely suffocate and fall to the ground dead.
Make me forever the willing or unwilling prisoner in your newly erected temple, devoted to our love.
Here I am Master, draw your eyes open, hear my call, come take me away and set me free.
Save me from the hell in this frail mortal form….
Awaken me and save me from the nothing I have become.

Was it something i said?

Sometimes i really should learn to keep my mouth shut, but certain people know that when i become passionate about something then i have to say my peace.

And certain people know that i only do it because i care and thats a big fault of mine i care too much, maybe i should stop caring and just sit back and let them get on with things but that isnt my nature when i see people i care for blaming themselves for something that actually isnt their fault.

I back off and get told that i’m ignoring peple when i’m not i’m giving them space so how do i win a situation like this? I have no idea.

I don’t know what the internet is doing to me i found myself having a rant at someone i love very much over something trivial and that is so not like me, it wasnt his fault he had to go but i just got so pissed off with the fact we couldnt talk and wasnt actually thinking about him and the problems he has, which also isnt like me.

Have contemplated about leaving the internet all together and just staying in my own safe world where i dont come across people to care about, but is that what i want cos i know i will miss a hell of alot of good friends i have made over the last year or so.

And therein lies the question, should i stay or should i go?

GUITAR HERO

Christmas came and went like a flash in the pan as usual.

All in all it was pretty crap, had to get up early to go to D’s moms to open presents and to have lunch there.

As i had to go to work in the afternoon D’s mom decided to cook lunch round at hers so i could relax before going in, well that was the general idea.

D and i arrived around 10ish had a cup of tea and started handing the presents out, at this time the oven was working but when she went to put the gammon in the oven was off and nothing was cooking.

So me being the good little angel that i am said that we should pack it all up and go cook it round ours, you ever had that feeling that you shouldnt have bothered opening your mouth?

We arrived at our place only for D and his mom to sit down and watch me do all the cooking, so much for me taking things easy before i went into work eh.

I did leave them with the washing up though.

Anyways on a lighter note one of my presents consisted of the game guitar hero for the Wii.

I dont class myself in anyway being talented musically and this game has proved that lol

Somehow my brain and fingers just dont want to work with eachother and i end up making mistakes.

D is really good at it though but the trouble with him is once he picks it up he cant put it down but i must say i am very impressed that he has that amount of patience lol.

It really is a good game and the tunes are pretty cool too, i think by the end of this week i will have miss murder by afi down to a t lol

D’s on it now challenging someone off the internet and she’s kicking his butt at the moment which is quite funny, oh no hang on he’s just redeemed himself lol

well i guess i will close there as its 1.30am and this vamp needs her beauty sleep, will be back soon for another thrilling instalment for you all to read……………………………………………………………………………

Hello world!

Everyone seems to have deserted Diaryland and come over to the Darkside of WordPress so thought i would check it out for myself.

Came and had a look round and found that it was just another blogsite so have decided to stay for a little bit.

I hope you guys had a great christmas.

Hope to be writing alot here in the next few weeks.

See you soon

K xxx